User blog comment:TheAlphatheOmega/Frozen 2/@comment-24199126-20140417134712

I gave the new plot outlines a look and now that there's more content to work with, I will give actual feedback. I'm no writing god so please note that a lot of what I'm about to say is based on personal feeling which is bad in critiquing a story where you should be as objective as possible; however, given the emotional power of the original film, I think it's impossible to ignore personal attachment. One immediate flaw would be a lack of music since Frozen wouldn't be what it is without the musical experience but unless you're a songwriter, I won't blame you for that.

Pros: The plot is interesting. Your take on the origin of Elsa's power as unstable magical energy becoming woven and trapped in her is original, different from those who try to claim it's based on genetic inheritance or a curse inflicted on her mother while she was pregnant. I dislike the first take because it makes her abilities too physical; the inherited powers mean that there's a gene that causes the powers to manifest, taking the unique aspect out of Elsa's power since it runs in the family.

The curse on the mother is another origin story I dislike because it gives a negative stigma to Elsa's power. Now Elsa viewed her own powers as a curse but this was because of her experiences; saying the mother was cursed would be like saying Elsa was made to be an engine of destruction from the start, which is not the case at all. Her powers are a special part of her being and once she learned to accept them and let her abilities soar, she was capable of wondrous things. It was a wonderful way of telling us to love ourselves. Our abilities should be considered neutral with the manner in which we choose to use them dictating whether they are positive or negative. So props to you for an origin story that is more preserving of Elsa's overall character. Also, the way you make her life force dependent on the magic (if it breaks free it will destroy her) is an excellent way of really binding her to her powers, a way of really showing Elsa wouldn't be who she is without her magic.

Another admirable quality about your story is your attempt to preserve the original lineup of characters by bringing back Hans, the Duke, Marshmallow, and the trolls (who, unfortunately had very, very little screen time).

Cons: Though the plot is good, a good story also needs theme. Theme is derived from plot but it is still its own entity. It would appear the focus of your story would be on Elsa finding a soulmate which is rather deconstructive with regards to the original film. As much of a romantic I am, Frozen had such power and resonance because it taught us that love for our family can be just as strong as romantic love. It did a good job of integrating both in a beautiful way. However, claiming that Elsa's love for Anna is no longer strong enough...it almost destroys the premise of the original film. I think this is a major problem, particularly if you want the story to be continuation of the original. Unfortunately, because of how theme and plot are interrelated, I can't think of any real way to remedy this without changing the whole plot :/

While I admire the attempts to bring back Hans and the Duke, this was rather predictable. Predictability isn't a bad thing in of itself since all Disney films are rather predictable plot-wise since they perpetuate good morals, allowing "the good guy to always win." However, the reason Hans was such an effective villain was his unpredictability. He not only played the characters of the film for fools, but also the people in the theater! I was expecting an Enchanted-like ending where Hans' kiss just didn't work and Kristoff would have to save the day. But then they took things a step further by making Hans a sociopathic murderer bent on usurpation. That emotional rollercoaster just has no match and by bringing Hans back as just a villain bent on revenge makes his character less effective. Unfortunately, it's going to be really hard to come up with another villain like that. But then again, there's nothing wrong with the typical one-dimensional villain if the story makes up for it in other ways (i.e. Tangled with Mother Gothel).

That's my take on your story thus far. Again, bear in mind this is your story and you can completely disregard my comments. Also bear in mind that I know little-to-nothing about good literature or writing, these are mostly personal statements.

Writing such stories gives you a medium to connect with the wonderful world of Frozen and whatever others say shouldn't take that away from you. So keep on writing regardless of what others would think! :D