Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-25389622-20141101150445/@comment-24199126-20150111224926

If it bothers you, I'm not opposed to a change. Sorry if I gave that impression. For me, it's was more about the reasoning behind changing the terms, so if I came off as a hardcore fan of the word "battalion", I apologize :/

Just a note, I'm not a grammar expert either ... but yeah, participial phrases are tricky sometimes :P. As with above, you can change if you really feel it implies that the roar caused change, but do try to keep the sentence as one whole. I felt doing "Marshmallow roared and erupted ice spikes" followed by a period and "He proceeded to attack the guards" was really choppy.

Hmmm, good point about the distraction actually. How about rewriting that whole sentence to:

"Suddenly whirling to face him, Elsa disarmed the other thug and blocked off his attempts to escape by creating ice walls. Despite the thug's attempts to resist, Elsa used an ice wall to push him through the balcony doors, inches from falling to his death."

It flows well and integrates your bit about the surprise attack with the "sudden whirl" and it removes the "distracted by Elsa's ferocity." It also includes the trapping walls.

There is a line on how descriptive an article is; I usually draw it when it detracts from the progression of the narrative, which is why I didn't include the trapping walls initially. But I see it can be integrated without compromising the flow of the section, so it seems fine here. Let me know if this wording is acceptable or if you wish to amend it :)