Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-25389622-20141101150445/@comment-25389622-20150111221922

We should go by definitions; I try not to say "I feel this...", but I can't help it sometimes. I think that "battalion" is distinguishable, but company is slightly more ambiguous. It can stay.

I'm not a grammatical expert - that is probably clear by now... It could be written as "he roared, which caused..." or how it is. It sounds like him roaring causes the spikes. He causes the spikes, the roar does not.

OK, fine, I won't take that further. So long as the idea that she is reluctant to fight stays in.

This is how what I put read: " Distracted by Elsa's ferocity, the other thug was easily disarmed by Elsa who unleashed a surprise attack, and followed up by generating walls of ice to block the thug's escape; despite the thug's best efforts to resist, another wall pushed him through the balcony doors, inches from toppling over the edge to his death." Maybe it could say:  " Distracted by Elsa's ferocity, the other thug was easily disarmed by Elsa, who then followed up the attack by generating walls of ice to block the thug's escape..."  I'm pretty sure that the semicolon provides the break needed and so the sentence is not so unwieldy. As a side note, surely he is not distracted by Elsa's ferocity. He was, but by that point his aim is back up. Maybe he was still distracted internally. 

No, no, I don't mean surprise attack like that. What I meant was he wasn't expecting her to whirl round and strike like how she did. He was expecting something, sure. He then lined up for a shot, but was then surprised at how she struck out. Of course he was expecting something, but right then he was focused on lining up the shot. Then bang! Surprise! I'm just a sucker for detail. Maybe we don't need to go into so much, but we need to have some of the logistics in there. It's Elsa's page, so the main thing is that her feelings are portrayed and that everything is seen from her side/point of view/perspective.

"She did put up walls to block the thug's escape, and then another to push him through the doors." What about this? He clearly is trying to get away, so she intentionally erects those walls to stop him from escaping. <span style="font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:10.5pt;line-height:16.5pt;">

<p style="margin:0cm0cm0.0001pt;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:10.5pt;line-height:16.5pt;">We (or I) need to know where to draw the line on how descriptive an article can be. It's too brief to say, "Elsa fought and then defeated the guards". I think that the thing about walls should at least stay in - that was obvious.